The Quick Brief
Twelve weeks. You made it through the fourth trimester—the hardest, most disorienting phase of early parenthood. Your baby is no longer a newborn; they're an infant now, more social, more predictable, more like an actual tiny person. This isn't the end of hard work, but it's the end of survival mode. Take a moment to recognize what you've accomplished.
What's Happening with Baby
At 12 weeks, your baby has developed substantially from that floppy, reactive newborn you brought home. They now have significantly better head control, can push up on arms during tummy time, and may be starting to roll (or showing signs they're working on it).
Socially, baby is transformed. They smile responsively and frequently, make eye contact, coo in conversation, and show clear recognition of familiar people. They may laugh for the first time around now or in the next few weeks—a real laugh, not just a reflex. They're interested in faces, toys, and the world around them.
Sleep is still not "solved," but patterns have likely emerged. Many babies at this age have a longer stretch at the beginning of the night (4-5 hours is developmentally normal and quite good). They're more awake during the day, which helps reinforce the day/night distinction.
The intense newborn crying should be behind you. Baby still cries to communicate needs, but the unexplained, prolonged, inconsolable crying of the PURPLE crying period typically resolves by 12 weeks.
Cognitively, baby is learning cause and effect. Shake a rattle, it makes noise. Smile at dad, dad smiles back. These connections are forming rapidly.
What's Happening with Mom
At 12 weeks postpartum, her body has done significant healing, but full recovery takes much longer than our culture acknowledges—some research suggests up to a year for full physiological recovery. She may still be experiencing hormonal fluctuations, especially if breastfeeding.
If she's returning to work now, this is a major transition. First days back are often emotionally complicated: excitement about using her professional brain again mixed with guilt, anxiety about pumping logistics, and exhaustion from managing both worlds. Support without judgment is what she needs.