Month 22: 23 — Potty Training Readiness

The Quick Brief

You're going to hear a lot about potty training as the second birthday approaches. Grandparents will have opinions. Other parents will share success stories. Here's the truth: most children aren't fully ready to train until 24 months or later, and pushing too early backfires. Your job right now is to watch for signs, not force schedules.

What's Happening with Toddler

Between 22-23 months, your toddler may start showing early signs of potty training readiness—or they may not. Both are normal. According to the AAP, children may show signs of readiness as early as 18 months, but most don't complete daytime training until somewhere between about 27 and 36 months. That's a big window.

Readiness signs to watch for include: staying dry for 2 hours or more at a time, discomfort with wet or dirty diapers, ability to pull pants up and down, following simple two-step directions, showing interest when others use the bathroom, and communicating when they need to go (even if it's after the fact).

Cognitively, your toddler is developing the ability to recognize bodily sensations and connect them to actions. This takes time. The neural pathways between "I feel pressure in my bladder" and "I should go to the potty" aren't fully formed yet. You can't rush neurological development.

Imaginative play is blossoming at this stage. Your child might pretend to cook, care for dolls, or have conversations with toys. This is healthy cognitive development—their brain is learning to represent reality symbolically. It's also why they may suddenly be interested in playing "potty" with dolls.

What's Happening with Mom

The prospect of potty training brings mixed feelings for most parents. On one hand, the idea of ditching diapers is financially and practically appealing. On the other hand, it's another developmental milestone that requires energy, patience, and consistency.

If your partner is the primary daytime caregiver, potty training will likely fall largely on her shoulders during the initial phase. This can feel like additional pressure, especially if there are expectations from daycare, family, or friends about timing.

Some moms at this stage are also starting to weigh whether another child is in the picture—physical recovery from the first pregnancy may be complete, but emotional readiness varies widely.

What Dad Should Do Now

First, don't push. The research is clear: early intensive potty training doesn't lead to earlier completion—it leads to longer training duration and more frustration. According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, intensive training (asking toddlers to use the toilet more than three times daily) has little benefit before 27 months of age. Starting before readiness can cause constipation, stool withholding, and bathroom anxiety.

Second, watch for readiness signs without creating pressure. If your child hides when pooping, that's actually a sign of awareness—they know something is happening. If they tell you right after going in their diaper, they're making the connection. Celebrate these signs internally without making a big deal externally.

Third, get a potty chair available. Not to use immediately—just to have around. Let your child see it, sit on it clothed, even put their teddy bear on it. Familiarity reduces anxiety when actual training begins.

Fourth, let your child observe. If you're comfortable, let your toddler see you use the bathroom (same-gender parent is often easier). Explain what's happening in simple terms. Toddlers learn through imitation, and normalizing bathroom use removes mystery.

Fifth, coordinate with your partner. Discuss your approach before starting. Consistency between caregivers is crucial. Mixed messages ("Mom lets me wear a diaper but Dad doesn't") create confusion and delay progress.

The Relationship Check-In

Potty training philosophy can be surprisingly contentious between partners. Some believe in intensive training methods; others prefer child-led approaches. Family pressure adds another layer. Have an honest conversation about your approach before starting, and present a united front to relatives who have opinions.

If you're both working and using daycare, coordinate with the childcare provider. Many daycares have specific potty training protocols they follow. Aligning home and school approaches makes everything smoother.

What's Coming Up

The second birthday is just around the corner. At 24 months, you'll see another developmental jump: more words, longer sentences, better emotional regulation (slightly), and possibly increased readiness for potty training. Many parents wait until the birthday milestone to begin serious training—and that's perfectly reasonable.

Quick Reference Box

Sources:

• CDC Developmental Milestones: https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/index.html
• AAP Toilet Training Guidelines: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/
• AAFP Toilet Training Guidance: https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2019/1015/p468.html
• Stanford Children's Health: Is It Time for Toilet Training?
• Zero to Three: Potty Training Resources: https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/potty-training-learning-to-the-use-the-toilet/